a visit from one of our favorite families

we got the chance to see some amazing friends yesterday on their east coast tour for the first time in about five years. i am so glad that we got to spend time together. we got a chance to see their son, Nicholas again and to meet their daughter, Elena for the first time. Nicholas is going to be taller than me in about five minutes and Elena thoroughly had me charmed with her cuteness. it was great to spend time with Christine, Eddie and the kids.



my favorite moments:

1. holding Elena :)

2. watching Christine's face light up like a Christmas tree when she realized that Sara's dissertation topic was directly related to her work (i'm glad someone knows what it means)

3. hearing Eddie making snoring sounds in response to Christine's excitement :)

4. having Nicholas ask for a "feast" from the waitress (i think i have to steal that line :) )



i wished that they lived closer and it was incredible to see them. Christine and I have known each other for a long time...longer than some of my employees have been alive. she amazes me. i love her and her family. it was good to see them all happy.

even though we are both incredibly bad at keeping in touch with each other, i'm glad that she knows that i love her and that i'm blessed to know her. and if she doesn't know, she does now.

concert in the mountains

i didn't take this photo of the concert that we went to last week. it was from "The Times-Tribune" on June 12, 2008 and was taken by Pamela Suchy. i didn't try to take a camera into the venue, although i must have been the only one to make that decision. we went to Scranton, PA for our annual Dave Matthews Band show. we had chosen this site because Paolo Nutini was supposed to open...didn't happen. however, despite the rain and the major hike up the mountain, the show was pretty amazing. the last song of the night was my favorite - "Thank You" by Sly and the Family Stone. Dave danced around like a maniac and that's why i still like him. i can only watch him live once a year, but i still like him.

on the way home from Scranton, PA, we made a stop at Steamtown National Historical Site. if you like trains, you will love this place.
i took a lot of photos and we were able to take a short train ride operated by one of the first diesel engines. if you have kids who are into trains or are a kid at heart like me, you will enjoy this spot. i'm a dork. i loved it.i think my favorite part of our trip was going to my first Wegmans grocery store. it was grocery heaven. i have never seen a store so clean, so big. i took photos. i will find the closest one to me. i promise you. this should be the standard for grocery stores. i love all grocery stores in general, but this was an experience.

beer with my take out? seriously? c'mon.

i miss the toy store

i just watched "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium" the other night. i hadn't had the chance before this but, my friend, joy insisted that i watch it. i absolutely know why she did. it reminded me so much of my old job at Store of Knowledge. i loved that place. i love toys and i love watching kids play with toys. i believe i still get that look on my face when i see some toy that i think is cool.

just ask sara about how i act when i come across the newest set of "Hulk Hands" at Target. i want a pair of those. badly. i miss that store and the people. toys rule.

an evening with chuck palanhiuk

i went to an amazing reading by chuck palanhiuk last night with my friends, c.j. and nick. (all thanks to Sara :) ) he's an author that i've loved since my days at Store of Knowledge. an employee told me that i should read "Fight Club" before watching the movie and i was hooked. when i started working at Borders, i debated internally about my first "Staff Selection." it was "Fight Club." i did get some interesting comments about it. i knew it said something interesting about me to people who know what his books are about. and that book is one of his tamer ones.

he approaches subjects that are offensive, incendiary, and socially taboo. he creates characters who wear their flaws on their sleeves and relish in them. his characters stand apart from a world into which they will never fit. there is always a duality and struggle within each of them. i think that is what i relate to most. misfit. outside.

when i was talking about posting this, i didn't necessarily want it to follow yesterday's post. how can i go from talking about God to talking about a man whose latest book is about the porn industry? the picture of him above is as he is throwing out blow up dolls and he threw out earplugs to the crowd in case they were easily offended. i won't even go into what the bookmarks had attached.

obviously, there are many sides to everyone. sexuality is a part of my spirituality. the more i've discovered who i am, the closer i became to God. i am not ashamed of my sexuality or my faith. i've recently been asked how can i be gay and still be a Christian. and i've been asked why bother being Christian if you are gay.

i connect to the duality of the characters in chuck palanhiuk's books, the complexity of their struggles. i've always struggled with the feeling of not fitting into this world. i am not the labels, the stereotypes. i'm not a typical example of the minority groups to which i belong. i am finally figuring out that i don't i need to fit in anymore. i just have to be me, like it or not.

God don't make junk.

God's playlist for me

I've mentioned in a previous blog entry that I'm struggling with my faith. I've been struggling with where I should go to church and how rarely I get to go to church at all. For people who have known me for any length of time, my faith in God has been inherent and without question. I am not questioning whether God exists in my life. I am completely surrounded by how God has blessed me. I have never had a problem seeing Him in other people and in the journey of my life. What I'm struggling with is the connection I have with Him personally...where is the God in me? This is NOT a plea for compliments! You could tell me over and over that you see God working through me, but I need to find that again myself. I feel like I've been ignoring a really good friend for a LONG, LONG time and I'm having our first really awkward conversation on the phone to reconnect. I made that call yesterday and actually requested a mix CD.

I prayed that God pick the songs that He wanted me to hear as it randomly shuffled on my Nano. I don't listen to lyrics. I am not like Sara or Craig who can quote and memorize lyrics. I just like songs, how they make me feel. I connect to God through music. However, I listened to the words yesterday. It was amazing.

I listened to the love songs as if the love involved God's love, something I learned from a friend. It works with some songs, not all.

I listened to the entire song and did not skip.

I devoted the entire drive to work to spending time listening to what God wanted me to hear. I was so intent on this that all of a sudden the "low tire pressure" indicator light started flashing and I realized that I had past my exit to work. It went off as I turned around. The light has come on before, but it has never flashed like that. It was weird.

I am still thinking about what I am taking away from what I heard. Oddly enough, I feel closer. The songs on the playlist are in the order that I heard them. I will blog later about what I took from them. The message from some songs were obvious. Shockingly, I'm still analyzing what some of them mean to me. The last song made me laugh because Weezer is a band a friend is trying to get me into and they released a new CD today. Feel free listen to them on the right.

I have decided to devote my time alone in the car to prayer and to opening myself back up to God.


"Be still and know I am God." Psalm 46:10