happy tenth anniversary, sara!

happy anniversary, sara! there are more than a hundred reasons why i love you, but usually i can only come up with three. click the link to see one of your presents....TEN TIMES TEN.

when sparkling looks like sweat?!?

everyone knows that i was excited to see this movie. everyone that has talked to me in the last few months knows that i really love the characters in this book. "twilight" is my favorite book in this series. i would have never read the other three if i hadn't fallen in love with bella and edward.

i know that a movie will never match what your imagination creates from reading. however, some movies are able to come close. this is not one of them.

a teenager walking out of the theater said it best, "i didn't think this was supposed to be a comedy."

walking humbly

i've had the opportunity to actually go to church a few times within the last month or so. the days where i used to go to mass every sunday seems a really long time ago. in the last five years, i have struggled with a faith that always seemed to be constant and strong within me. with the help of prayer and connection with friends and family, i have rediscovered a peace that i thought i had lost.

i went to church with my friend, kourtney, a couple of sundays ago. i have not been hugged as much in one setting since college. it was nice. i felt very welcomed. it was a non-denominational christian church. the music, which i loved, was an integral part of the service. i had to get up and introduce myself (with a microphone) as a guest to the church. then, kourtney warned me, "they are all going to hug you now." this might bother some people, but not me.

i have been struggling with how to deal with forgiveness of self, forgiveness of others and with various relationships in my life. the sermon was about how one's innermost self does battle with one's outermost self. God is found within your innermost self and it is a conscious decision to let God affect your actions or your outer self. i know that there are moments that i am moved by God to do or to say things to others. i know that comes from deep within me. i know that i am an instrument and a vessel in other people's lives. and i know that certain people are brought into my life as instruments as well.

however, there are emotions that affect my decisions and actions that are not always Christ-like. i struggle with anger, selfishness, and jealousy. i struggle with being overly competitive and with a strong desire to be loved. i know that when i focus on listening to God that i tend to fight the more negative nature of my personality. i do fight the negativity within me with a strong desire to be a better person. i am constantly on the journey to having my faith be what drives my decision making and to let go of my constant need for control. there have been clear examples in my life where God has shown me that i am not in charge, that i needed to let go of the wheel.

a long time ago, i heard a sermon that pointed out that you may be the only example of a Christian that someone might encounter. this thought really resounded with me. i've applied this thought to other aspects of my personality, being a lesbian, being a filipino, and even being a gay Christian. i could easily wear outward symbols to make it obvious that i'm all these things. it would make for an interesting outfit, t-shirt, or tattoo. i've been told by some that my orientation and my heritage are obvious without wearing rainbow-colored flannel or speaking tagalog while frying fish.

is my being a Christian as obvious to others? truly, i'm not sure. hopefully, it will be one day.

happy birthday, maribeth!

i've known maribeth for over ten years, but feel like i've known her all my life. she is just one of those types of friends. there are very few people in my life that accept me as completely and unconditionally for who i am, good and bad, like she does. i can say absolutely anything to her and she does not judge me, she loves me more. we spent a part of my last visit with her talking about we see each other and how others view us. as different as we may seem to others, we are pretty much the same inside. we do not look alike. we do not act alike. we do not sound alike. we definitely don't laugh alike. but we do love the people in our lives with the whole of our being exactly the same way. if you make it into our hearts, you will own a piece of it for life.

we drift in and out of each others lives when we need each other most. i truly have no walls when it comes to her. you do not come across friends like that very often. if you don't have at least one friend with whom you never have to edit your words or actions, then you are missing out. i am very blessed to have her in my life. she has always been there when i needed her. and i truly don't know what i would do without her. she is truly and utterly amazing. and if you know her, i know you think so too. i love you very much. happy birthday, maribeth!

it's a new dawn, it's a new day

i heard the news in a tearful voicemail from sara, since i was at work and my phone had died. the joy radiated from within and i actually felt hopeful. i announced it over the loud speaker to the one other employee in the store, "hey ron, it looks like we have a new president." i was so proud to be an american at that moment. when strangers look at me initially, some of them don't assume that i was born here. they almost never assume my parents are citizens. i felt truly american yesterday and glad that we made history happen. i am excited by the thought of change and hopeful that the change will come. for once, i think people finally believed that every vote matters.

making a change...

i love voting. i have voted since i was eighteen years old. i have a couple of friends who are voting for the first time this year. i love the process. and this time, i loved waiting in line to take part in this historic election. i am excited and nervous. not to mention the almighty "i voted" sticker, it may be one of the most powerful stickers out there.


and yet...unlike any other presidential election, i got a free coffee from starbucks and a star-shaped red, white, and blue sprinkled donut from krispy kreme. i love free stuff. i'm a sucker. it was the icing on the cake on a historic morning.

i'm hoping that i bet on the winner. otherwise, we're moving to canada.

an early anniversary trip

the photos

anniversary day one

anniversary day two