happy halloween

me as a "robber" panda

enjoy the holiday

14 years of coming out

i'm collecting these types of belts these days, but i do not own one of these. however, maybe it would make my life easier. even in light of the ever-growing tolerant atmosphere, it is still a challenge to come out. i'm slowly making the rounds at my somewhat new job. i've come out to two people this past week. the conversations were very short and sweet. generally, there was no lead in other than.."well, you probably already know this but...i'm a flaming homosexual." actually, i find that i say that "i'm gay." i don't say "lesbian." maybe one day, i'll be bold enough to say..."i'm a big ol' dyke." (i know, not p.c., but i love that word sometimes.) noone really is surprised. i don't know if i should be offended by that. what, don't i look straight?

my constant references to my "roommate" is a giveaway?

the photos of angelina jolie, natalie portman and scarlett johannsen at my desk not obvious enough?

the fact that i talked about going to "gay pride" with my friend this summer?

the large tattoo of two intertwined female symbols on my forehead? just kidding. maybe next year.

I LIVE WITH ANOTHER WOMAN AND HAVE TWO CATS!!!!

sara is the only person that calls me at work and they always ask who is calling....

c'mon, people. seriously?

i wish the process was easier.

at least now i don't have to have the two hour conversation anymore...but i do miss coming up with creative places to tell people and the questions people would ask me. one of my all-time favorite questions was actually asked a few months after i told her....

"so do you still like the sex?"

best question ever. (you know who you are.)

"can i speak to your manager?"

those six words are some of the most dreaded words to come out of a customer's mouth. the worst is having to reply "i'm the manager. how can i help you?" more often than not, it's a complaint. it's definitely not someone taking their time out to compliment someone. (that does happen sometimes, but not enough in my opinion.)

last night, we hosted a "halloween spooktacular" and several of my associates and supervisors dressed up. yes, me too. i was a panda. ( actually, i looked more like a robber dressed in a panda costume. sadly, no photos were taken. :) they were lost in the fire. ) anyhow, one of my baristas wore a kickass ninja outfit to work that night. i'm sure you can guess what may have happened....

"can i speak to a manager?"
"i'm a manager."
"are you aware that a gentlemen in your cafe is in a costume that is very offensive?"
"which costume, the ninja or the pirate?"
"he's a ninja? well, he looks like a terrorist. was there some kind of party? it scared my daughter."
"i'll take care of it."

after spending half the night praising his costume, i had to ask him to take off the mask. i could tell that she was one of "those." one who would make my life a living hell. it pissed me off and broke my heart. it was a definite let down after a very fun event.

sometimes, i hate those SIX little words.

i have to think of some creative answers to that question.

"accept the good"

sara took me to see "things we lost in the fire" today. i had heard good things about the performances. in general, i'm a fan of halle berry (for obvious reasons). i love benicio del toro. he was amazing in this movie. i have a love for david duchovny. the kids were super cute. yes, i did cry. i couldn't help it. if that happened to me, i would be lost.

one of the messages from the movie was "accept the good."

i don't think i do that enough. lately, i've gotten closer to some of my existing friends, gotten in touch with old friends, and started making new friends. sometimes i question why exactly people want to get to know me or stay friends with me at all. at times, i'm not a good friend at all. i've been working on it lately. myspace has helped a little. overall, i'm not the worst friend, but i'm lucky that i choose friends who are low maintainance. the ones who are high maintainance or high drama tend to fall away. the reason that people hang in there with me will probably always be a mystery, but i amazingly glad that they do. my friends and family make me who i am. i hope they know how much i appreciate their presence in my life. i know i don't tell them enough. and i don't accept that i deserve the people with whom i've been surrounded.

p.s. one of the things that i noticed about the film that was interesting was that you could actually hear the cigarette burn when benicio del toro inhaled. as a former smoker, it teased me throughout the movie. i may or may not ever smoke again, but i will always crave the act of smoking. i DO accept the fact that smoking is not good for me. i do miss it though. :)

p.p.s my friends, raeann and jermaine welcome david marshall into the world on the 23rd, 7 lbs 2 oz. dan and ginny welcomed katie. mike and susan have just brought jon home within this past week. christine and eddie are expecting any day now. my friends have been very "busy" lately. i am truly amazed by it all. i'm excited to meet them all. good good stuff.

next topic - the "coming out" conversation, still happening after 14 years

bionic woman

two women with superhuman strength kicking each others ass each week...why wouldn't i be watching this show? shah. as if.

target makes me happy

i am a consumer. this is not a commercial, but it can be seen as an endorsement. i love this store. if i'm in a bad mood, i can go to target and find something to cheer me up. yes, my brother has worked there forever, but that is only one reason why i love the place. i love that they have bins with items costing only ONE dollar. i love the clearance shelves. i cannot leave that store without something in my hand. i even love their commercials. i know i'm not alone.

now, some locations have starbucks and pizza hut inside. food. drink. and shopping.

how many stores can you leave with a curling iron, dove bath soap, a bag of bouncing eyeballs, and scooby doo post-it notes? not many, my friends. love it. i guarantee that i will never work there...i like it too much.

next time, hot topic...my favorite store in a mall.

i love asking questions

i spent the evening with my friend, danielle, who willingly trekked to my place of employment. yay! we hadn't hung out in awhile, so she was subjected to my endless questioning. I LOVE ASKING QUESTIONS. i ask friends. i ask strangers. i will ask almost anything. if there was a job asking questions for no real purpose except to suit my curiosity, i would be in heaven.

i love learning about people. i think that everyone can be fascinating. i'm glad my friends put up with my interrogation. and that they know they can tell me to mind my own business.

believe or not, sometimes i hold back asking the questions i would love to have answered.

of course, i answer questions too.

where did i spend my tuesday night?

i agreed to do an off-site event for an author after a lot of convincing. i didn't really read the book jacket or know what kind of dinner i would be attending. so, i arrive that the fire station and it's a women's republicans "octoberfest." honestly, it took me 20 minutes to figure out why i was hearing german music. the author worked for the reagan administration and spoke after dinner about it to the guests. needless to say, i felt a tadbit uncomfortable. it made me laugh because only i get stuck in the middle of something like this. i text my friend, omeed, and he told me, "tell them you are a lesbian...i'm sure they will love you."

at least the dinner was free.

three cool events...

i haven't blogged in awhile, but it's been a really cool week or so. the first couple of events involved a great weekend with sara. the first thing was seeing the movie, "across the universe." due to my current obsession with the beatles, i LOVED it. it was a very visual/musical film. it contained about 30 beatles songs redone by actors and musicians. if you can handle a little psychadelic and like the beatles, go see this film.

next thing, i FINALLY after 2 years got to see Tai Shan at the National Zoo. It was SO COOL. i love pandas. you don't even want to know how excited i was just to watch the little guy eat bamboo. (don't ask sara, i'll be embarrassed.) if you are in town, go to the zoo. super fun.

i bought a NEW CAR on wednesday!!! it is a 2007 Nissan Versa in bright RED. it has a lot of fun gadgetry. don't be surprised if i call you from the car cuz now it's handsfree. i've called quite a few people already. two words were involved in the sale that i thought i would never hear..."excellent credit." yeah baby. big ups to sara. and for the record, i liked the Versa before i watched Heroes...and now i LOVE it.